11am
last night i dreamt that instead of my grandmother, it was my parents that'd died. i was back in alabama at the church i went to all my life, and it was a regular sunday service and everyone knew they died but nobody was asking me how i was or talking to me much at all. i went to the organist after the service—i would sub or pinch hit for him during my last years in high school, so we usually chatted after each service. he was sitting outside the church talking about new musicians he'd just recruited—a couple who were officeworkers, and how they it turned out they could play something besides filing cabinets. the folks sitting with him laughed when he said that. i asked him if he needed a hand with any of the music stuff and he said no. i walked to the beveled glass front doors and am sure was about to start crying when i woke up.
posted June 16, 2002 in delivery2am
did you know that if you use blue cornmeal to make polenta, you end up with a purple polenta? it reminded me of poi, that taro goo that i avoid like the plague when i'm in hawaii.
what is it about fights with your boyfriend that just sap the life out of you? and then when you drag your sorry ass out of the house because if not you'll keep watching shit tv or reloading nytimes.com over and over or listening to the same skunk anansie mp3s, you run into the folks that it takes the most effort to make small talk with, like ex-co-workers and ex-dates and people that shelve stuff at the co-op with you?
it does give you lots of time to work on your site, so i'm trying a little experiment on the homepage with the content bubbled up—a lesson learned from too many corporate site designs designed.
it's 2:02am, and i just read this, which linked me here, and when i read the word "steppe" i pulled out my borodin cd and played in the steppes of central asia—don't know how long it's been since i listened to it, but it did make me feel a little more myself. my first exposure to the piece was in a high school youth orchestra—i was so hungry for competition that i almost missed out on how touching the initially unadorned ten-bar melody is; it starts off with violin harmonics so quietly that you really are rising out of mist onto the grass in some isolated place; that melody gets repeated throughout the piece with increasing instrumentation until it's really ceremonial but still a little bit sad (if only i could still upload mp3s).
posted June 16, 2002 in delivery