as if you were eating your own firm-ass tail

6. THE TEENAGE READER OF ARTFORUM Yes you, as you stand in the bookstore reading this entire issue so you don't have to pay eight dollars, or perhaps you will buy it, because the magazine itself is evidence of a future life, one where you have your own coffee table to place such a magazine on. And you can't help noticing that much of the art, whether nostalgic or rebellious, seems to be about you, the teenager, and now, adolescence. Which gives you a kind of meta-teen feeling about yourself, as if you were eating your own firm tail.

7. BERKELEY HIGH SCHOOL SLANG DICTIONARY (North Atlantic Books) Last year students at Berkeley High put together this book of slang used by African Americans, Chicanos, Jews, and fans of sports, movies, punk, hip-hop, and drugs over the last fifty years (with an emphasis on now). It's a terrific read and reminds us to use suffixes such as -ass, which "adds emphasis to an adjective." As in, This is a good-ass biennial. Let's try using jankity in a sentence: "jankity (JAN-ki-tee) adj., (Also: janky, janked, jankity-ass, jankity-assed) In bad shape, broken, old." My jankity-ass G4 doesn't even have a superdrive. (Etym. African American.)