i go through all this before you wake up

tomorrow at work, when everyone asks each other how their weekends were, i won't be able to tell them that i saw blade 2 saturday night, because i just can't. now that my ears have finally stopped ringing, i realize that it had some nice visuals. i think my hosting company deleted my mp3s, those rats (so look for dantewoo on audiogalaxy instead). someone insists on entering "puke and cry" into my search engine every week—the potatoes hiss. i go through all this before you wake up, so i can feel happier to be safe again with you. sat in church today and thought the music was too loud—sometimes i can't stand that drama queen classical music that the organist will sometimes start pounding out, but even when it's tedious, i feel a little more together in myself when i've gone. i try to think "thank you god for all the blessings of this life" over and over again. because it's true: no matter how out of control or in a rut life feels, i know i have a lot of them: an unbroken string of good job luck, good friends even if everyone is having crises, a generally healthy attitude, full head of hair, wonderful boyfriend, no plague or pestilence, a rent-controlled junior one bedroom in the east village, lovable family, yadd yadda. tuesday i'm going to see me'shell ndegeocello, and in a few weeks, zero 7.