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low motivation for everything. as evidenced by my postings around this time last year, this is nothing new. i worry that at some point i got off track and i'm not becoming the person that i wanted to be when i grew up. there were a lot of jobs that i fantasized about, but i also thought a lot about scenes, like: when i'm grown up, i'll be sitting on the floor or leaning against the window of a big white room that overlooks an alley. if the window is open, there'll be sounds and music coming up from the street. where's that street? my street's quiet.

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