i have some intense dreams, but i rarely have nightmares. last night i had a nightmare that woke me up yelling, and like i usually do when i have a noteworthy dream, i went back to sleep thinking, i don't need to write it down because i'll totally remember this one, but now it's a haze. i think i remember some parts of it being that i was speeding uphill, either flying or driving, like maybe 1st avenue in the midtown vicinity, i was speeding up this hill, which i recognized because there's an area where you can either continue going up or go down a tunnel, and i keep going up, and all of a sudden the whole everything floods, like the sudden way it would flood if a dam crashed down, and i'm still going up, and i fly over the gate of the dam into the dirty water area beyond it and i know that it's full of rats, and then i woke up with a yell, so loud that neil woke up too and held me and i made puppy dog sounds and went back to sleep.

tonight i went to the co-op and restocked granola and grains and dried fruits and canned soups and stood on ladders and used box cutters and got dirty and it was great and so relaxing. i bought dishes and fantasized about my imaginary dinner party that i plan to make reality before the new year.