sublevel

discombloggulated

tuesday night i saw dancer in the dark, the new björk film. there's so much to like about this movie—the bratty kid with the cute voice and thick glasses that selma is trying to save, the hapless bloke with a crush on selma (why can't a guy have that kind of sweet, perseverant crush on me, dammit?), the super non-american ending, but my favorite part is everything around the musical sequences. the screen would slowly brighten from the movie's muted palette to full-color, and the ambient sounds of the factory pipes getting banged, court drawer scribbling on his pad, and train moving over wooden tracks all incorporated themselves steadily into the music. the butch lumberjacks are chopping wood, then suddenly reverse their move in incredibly graceful motions—such a genderfuck for a second.

b a   c     K

 

2 4   s e p t e m b e r   2 0 0 0 . (link)

there's a certain kind of voice that is mature and casually sexy, but gentle and calm and comfortable too, that i hear every now and then. it's not talking about anything sexy, and when it's talking with me, i shut up and let it talk to me instead. two of the owners of this voice are friends of mine, and nothing could ever happen with us, but when i hear their voices, i melt a little bit on the inside and think, if nothing else, what if i could have that phone on my ear and that voice drifting through it forever.

b a   c     K

 

2 3   s e p t e m b e r   2 0 0 0 . (link)

• 5:30am: woke up (I'm still a little jetlagged), got out of bed to piss my morning hard-on away, got back under covers on my stomach, hugged pillow, fell back asleep.
• 7:30am: woke up for good, beat off.
• 7:45am: descended into brief AOLhole, made booty call plans for later.
• 8:00am: beat off.
• 9:00am: coffee and granola with yogurt and fruit at the lotus club on clinton and stanton (really close to my place), called photoreact on the way to see if he'd like to drop by to talk about maybe shooting some pics.
• 9:45am: hurriedly surfed the bloglives of jami, jonno, dori, and richard, chatted with claudia and grace even more hurriedly. claudia's med-school friend that she wants to introduce me to is in town (fuck, none of us has any time this weekend), grace is hosting a group viewing of there's something about mary (fuck, I already have dinner plans that night).
• 10:00am: shower.
• 10:30am: union square farmer's market. picking up food stuff. run into paul and dirk and their dog, who jumps on me as we talk about paul spending a month in portland, oregon with ngltf, dirk looking for people to work with his non-profit training folks in computers (need a job in nyc?), paul and my friend lapo getting stopped in the middle of chelsea and asked if they were gay (what the fuck? it's chelsea, of course they are), buy tomatoes, sprouts, yellow squash, then run into manny, flash forward 2000 finalist, attempting a bike race tomorrow, then run into casey's lovely wife cait. new york city is small. walk into virgin megastore (megavirgin), beautiful boy there and I want not only him but also to have those arms of death that are hanging from his shoulders.
• 12:30pm: roasted turkey on seven-grain with deli mustard and black pepper mayo, from stepmama's.
• 2:00pm: meet rachel and erin at crosby and prince, have coffee at the lafayette used bookstore café, get caught up on work and life. they are well. walk around shops and peek inside periodically, mostly as an excuse to hang out and chatter. a really nice way to spend a drizzly Saturday afternoon.
• 2:00-7:30pm: sometime in here i think i beat off again. is this normal for a healthy 24 year old?
• 7:30pm: buy sparkling wine for jesse's birthday party (it even came with a 12 exposure camera emblazoned with "capture your sparkling moments!"—too bad it doesn't have a flash).
• 9:00pm: head out to astoria for party. hang with jesse, andrea, shilpa, doris, jesse's two cute friends—both very tall, black, nice smiles. have the obligatory yeah-i-work-for-a-web-design-firm-and-it's-cool,-i-like-it conversation while jesse rolls his eyes—he works for a non-profit (no stock options) and is so over it (my autopilot banter, not the non-profit).
• 12:00am: head out for booty call
• 2:00am: barhopped in east village (what can I say, I have energy tonight for some reason). brief showings in wonderbar (listened to alright, by janet jackson), phoenix, walked by the door of starlight long enough to determine that I wasn't going in, cruised the line waiting outside of the cock.
• 3:30am: bed (solo).

b a   c     K

 

1 6   s e p t e m b e r   2 0 0 0 . (link)

this is a quickie because i just woke up. back in new york, had a great week in munich, toying with whether i should introduce this site to a boy in munich that i wanna marry. had my welcome-back party last night. though fahey and todd did me wrong by not representing the hetboy contingent (lots of cute, bored, straight girls there), and longshots-but-i-still-would've-loved-to-see-them dori, jonno, and richard weren't able to jet over, i, and hopefully others, had a great time seeing matty, jami, chad, and the many other delights (like toby, ralph, valkyrie, silver, dari, richie, paulie, uri and tom, uri and tom's friends mike and (whoa!)dante, spike, marlee, cinde, le comtesse, wei ling, jeff, steve, kenyon and william + kenyon's roommate + william's roommate, letitia, denise, dan, melissa, and mio caro lapo who i'm about to do brunch with) whose names i can't link. i love you just the same.

pictures will be posted promptly.

i'm so glad to be back; i had a blast in europe (despite the rather plaintive tone in my blogs), but nowhere else could i do like i do here, waking up and walking around the neighborhood at 8am and get winked at by a snarling puerto rican boy. then go to the gym and get smiled at by a cute gym boy. then walk down sixth avenue and get visually undressed by a cute 6th avenue boy. i am a conceited biatch and will acknowledge and accept that criticism. at least today.

b a   c     K

 

5   s e p t e m b e r   2 0 0 0 . (link)

3 september: milan
10 september: munich
17 september: new york

just when i was mastering "dove il toilette?" and "ti piace mio culo?"...

b a   c     K

 

3   s e p t e m b e r   2 0 0 0 . (link)

headed back home soon. i'm having a party in nyc that weekend. wanna come? hit the contact page to get sent the details.

m o   r     E