thinking about ray, an ex of mine from college. summer '97, we met on the dancefloor of numbers, a ghetto ass nightclub in downtown cleveland. he came down to oberlin on his birthday, and we rented set it off.

at another club, they started playing "hypnotize" by biggy smalls and he started bouncing and the rest of the club followed suit. he was closeted and would kiss me really fast when i dropped him off at his office. set it off was a really sad movie, and afterwards he asked me if a i'd ever had a friend who was killed.

he had, and then started crying. i'd recently gotten the erykah badu debut, and played next lifetime sometime that night. it was hot as hell, so the fan was on full blast my bedroom walls were painted fuck-me red, which gave me weird dreams all summer long.

ray and i got in the shower and he started giving me hickies on the back of my neck, which i loved and hated shower frottage, then bed frottage, then belly fucking with his wiry treasure trail giving me rope burn. i must've looked like hell, emerging in the morning with rope burn on my stomach and what he called "sucker bites" on my neck.

tomato project, design, bareback.

x e n o m a n i a : mania for, or an inordinate attachment to, foreign customs, institutions, manners, fashions, etc.

origin: gr. xenos strange + e. mania.

source: websters dictionary

(01 mar 1998)

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